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In addition, you seek never ending reassurance (checking his cell phone, needing to know where he is at all times, demanding he tells you he loves you all of the time--you get the idea).What belies these feelings and behaviors is the fear that you are is so flawed that you cannot attract and keep a partner without monitoring and controlling him—even though these behaviors ironically push him away. Remember, you are looking for a life mate; that glass slipper is hardly one size fits all, and very few men will qualify.
Another way feeling unlovable manifests is in the choice of partner. For sure, so much of the gay male world is way too focused on looks, youth, the gym, partying, and fast hookups; so searching for Mr. However, feeling subconsciously unlovable or unworthy can again rear its head here through your choices.
That muscled, tattooed bad boy is hotter than hell, and great in bed, but is he showing any sign that he is ready to settle down?
You think, maybe it’s just not possible for gay men to have long-term relationships.
There must be some truth to the old joke: “What does a gay man bring on a second date? ” You would be ready to throw in the towel, if it weren’t for your best friend who met someone and is now in a happy relationship for the past 2 years—or that middle-aged couple who live in your building and who just celebrated 25 years together with a trip to Paris.
A wise teacher once told me that once we have been in a relationship, it never really fully ends—Even if we have been divorced or our partner has died, the heart never fully lets go.
However, the good news is the heart’s capacity is not limited by physical space.I have had several grieving gay men tell me: “If I move on, it will be like I am forgetting him” which is just not true.A variation of this theme is when a relationship ends, but you just don’t want to let go of it—even if the guy is still alive.For sure, the pendulum has swung far in the other direction.Contrary to heterosexual fears, legal gay marriage has given the institution an enormous boost in importance.You might still be living together, or stay best friends.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating