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“I should’ve taken that as a sign, but I figured it was Friday night, so I shouldn’t judge.

When we met up in person, he was a [jerk] and kept asking me if I ‘liked to party.’” So a good rule of thumb is: if your date is drunk the first time you talk to him on the phone, end it there.

Maggie from New York City specified in her profile that she wanted to meet someone between the ages of twenty-five and thirty-five who lived in Manhattan, so receiving emails from sixty-five-year-old men who lived a hundred miles away was not amusing.

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“No one expects to meet in person after just a couple of emails, but if you’ve been corresponding regularly, it’s expected that you’ll take your relationship offline.

If the person doesn’t even want to talk on the phone or meet for coffee, it’s okay to wonder what his motivations are.

But the good ones are indeed out there, and luckily, the bad ones usually reveal themselves early in the process.

Watching out for these warning signs can make it easier to take a relationship from email to in-person.

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What’s not okay is to expect potential suitors to conform to a long list of demands.

If you see a profile that specifies a required height/weight, salary, or supermodel looks, or includes domineering phrases like “I need …” or “I won’t tolerate …,” consider whether you could ever live up to this person’s impossible standards.

Some practiced daters have a standard letter they send to every single person they find even mildly attractive.

Someone who truly wants to get to know you will take the time to write a personalized message responding to specific items in your profile, not send a generic cut-and-paste letter saying, “Hey girl, I saw your profile and was intrigued …” Think about the hundreds of other people who’ve gotten the same letter, and decide whether you’re willing to accept only the barest minimum of effort.

He might just be nervous, but he could also be someone other than who he says he is.

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