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And not just Japanese folks either; I mean foreigners. Oh now somebody else starts rambling about traditional homes being all infused with zen beauty, and rock gardens, and koi fish.

Like if I said, “Japanese architecture is stunning,” somebody’d stand up and complain that the cities are just jumbled amalgamations of aging concrete projects.

As a divorcee well into her thirties with plenty of “dating the wrong guy” experience, and as someone who studies and discusses women, desire and relationships often, I won’t count out a woman’s need to investigate her own feelings about sharing sex and the expectations that follow- AND how those expectations will affect her feelings of self worth and esteem.

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But again, as one ages and learns to trust her inner-voice, she quickly figures out what will work for her and what won’t.

I know women who can have a fifteen-minute bar conversation with a guy and determine whether said guy is datable and sex-able. Again, when to sex varies from woman to woman depending on a slew of criteria, but what is constant is the exhausting thought process that many women face attempting to determine whether or not to they should lay it down- both literally and figuratively.

Often, instead of women meditating on whether or not they want to have sex and how that sex will affect THEM, they are caught up in trying to determine how having sex will make them look in the eyes of their lovers, families and friends.

What is lost in translation is pleasure and freedom, which is really what sex is all about anyway, yes? Listen to what Steve Harvey himself has to say about why women should practice the three-month rule here.

As a feminist and one who advocates for women to be released from all rules that govern how, when, where and why we sex, I am totally against blanket guidelines being provided to women (who obviously have had unsuccessful relationships and are looking for answers) that may or may not be beneficial to them as individuals.

Meaning, one woman can decide that she is ready to have sex after an initial meeting, and another may need years of contemplation before taking such a step; neither method of thinking is right or wrong.

But you know, since I’m also a wee bit opinionated about My Japan, I had to take issue with some of her previous stuff: “. So according to information found on “the internet,” being a foreign guy makes it easy to land Japanese girls.

And although I’ve never met her, from what I gather she’s a very cool person. For some reason Japanese women seem to find even ugly foreign guys attractive …..” Now I don’t even know what hackles are, but if I’ve got any, I’m sure that got them up. So do foreign guys also go out with Japanese women? I personally think the “foreign guy with Japanese girl” sighting is pretty rare.

Plus, Jasmine kind of got my hackles up with a previous post. She’s a German blogger, and I give her mad props for being able to write so well in English. At least getting one woman after another into your bed, is really easy, even if you’re quite ugly! Men and women are meeting each other, at clubs, coffee shops, and at the mailbox on the corner. And you probably don’t notice it much unless—-oh wait—-they’re of different races.

And so it goes, in France, Germany, Bermuda, and all over the world.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to feel secure about such a thing, and many women with fewer dating and sexual experiences find making and negotiating “wait” rules helpful.

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