No spark dating

D., a master certified Gottman Therapist and Chicago-based couples counselor.

It can be purely sexual, or it can be a deeper feeling that someone understands you.

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The end result is the same – you're totally in love.

Even when people had that fiery spark in the beginning, it fades.

It depends entirely on what you’re looking for, Mc Nulty explains.

“Attraction can involve looks, personality traits, shared experiences, ability to commit, and context—are you in a bad mood? —among other factors.”Plus, who we’re attracted to can change over the course of our life, so someone you don’t have a spark with right away could sweep you off your feet if you meet years later, Mc Nulty adds.

If locking lips isn't your style, any sort of physical contact could help.

“A touch on the shoulder, brushing hands, placing a hand on the lower back—once there is explicit physical contact, that can ignite that missing chemistry,” she says. Think about what you enjoy about the date, she offers. Finally, flat out ask yourself if you’re looking forward to seeing them again, Gunsaullus suggests.

the "love drug;" pheromones, which are produced from DHEA and result in sensuality, a sense of well-being, and comfort; and oxytocin, or the cuddle hormone that's released when people get physically close.

So why do we have that heart-fluttering reaction with some people and not others?

If after two or more dates you still don’t feel a spark, move on, Mc Nulty says.

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