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Premarital sex is forbidden under sharia law and can carry penalties of up to three years in prison, a fine of up to 5,000 ringgit or six strokes of the cane.
There are, of course, numerous Malay women who find sex important and fulfilling in marriage, yet a dominant cultural narrative is that Malay women should be sexually submissive, inside as well as outside marriage.
Some first wives in polygamous unions go as far as linking their husband’s second marriage to their own lack of sexual prowess or enjoyment.
Greater exposure to non-Muslim – especially Western – gender relations and sexuality, particularly in the media, have penetrated and shaped local discourses on sexual relations and male-female relations generally, and challenge traditionally more rigid Malay sexual mores.
Urban Malay women must negotiate their sexuality within several competing discourses of desire, including polygamy.
Malay women’s sexual desires are furthermore considered to diminish with age, so if a woman gets divorced or widowed she may not remarry, the implication being that if she does not need sex she does not need to remarry.
Managing women’s sexuality as part of polygamous marriage may hence be considered appropriate: Women who are able to suppress their desires may consent to their husband marrying another wife, in order to satisfy his longing for more than they alone could give.
Influenced by global Islamic resurgence, Malay women’s sexuality has become more contentious, as Islamic discourse represents women’s active sexuality as a disruptive potential that needs to be controlled.
Contemporary understandings and practices of Islam limit Malay women’s control over their own bodies, as sexuality increasingly becomes tied to women’s responsibility of motherhood and notions of chastity and purity associated with it.
Malays technically practice polygyny – a plural marriage in which a man is permitted more than one wife at a time.
In Malaysia, the right to polygamy is based on Islam, which conditionally allows a Muslim man to marry up to four wives.
Many first wives, it is often argued, have few or no sexual relations with their husband by the time of his second marriage.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating