Emotionally invalidating

I have preached to the choir, so to speak, and I have spoken to crowds who have had absolutely no idea what the journey through foster care is like for a child.I have been awed at the courage of some who have stood up and shared their stories, sometimes for the first time, besides me.I think that we have to be willing to self-examine ourselves and be honest with the struggles if we are ever going to help those around us. I facilitate Support Groups for Adult Survivors of Child Abuse, and one of the requested topics for our upcoming meeting was, "why do we minimize what happened to us, and why, and how can we stop minimizing our own pain."The last paragraph is beautiful in it's truth. I saw that post about gaslighting children as well and was struck by it as well. However, that doesn’t mean that they didn’t have the experience or that their feelings should be minimized just because the event wouldn’t overwhelm or traumatize me.

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Many used the example of a child crying because he/she couldn’t’ get candy at the store.

While the example is quite benign, I think it is a sign of a larger problem.

Abusers to rationalize their actions make the victim question their own sanity by using this technique.

This term is used frequently today, and I am not sure it is always used in the right way.

I understand that, especially in the parenting example above, parents want to teach their children that they can’t always have their way.

That is acceptable, but we should communicate it differently.

I have traveled around the country and even into a few foreign countries.

I have been too epic urban areas and to remote rural communities.

When we emotionally invalidate someone it can become difficult for them to recover, and they learn to doubt their own thoughts, feelings, and judgment.

This leaves them even more vulnerable and unable to cope.

In fact, a year into writing, I stopped writing completely. I found myself wanting to retreat and withdraw purposefully alienating myself from those around me.

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