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A better way to phrase the question would be, 'Would you please help me understand why this bothers you so much?'" "Often in relationships, people will say things to hurt one another, as a way of punishing or getting back at the other person.
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If he or she berates your abilities, appearance, or ambitions, that reveals a tendency to decrease your self-esteem and shake your confidence, making you more easily controlled.
This sets the scene for you being more likely to become abused, and ultimately create a situation in which it is very hard to escape." "Any time your partner starts with 'a real man/woman...' their goal is to get you to behave as they wish by insulting or shaming you.
A partner who expresses concern is told 'You're too critical,' 'Can't you see I'm just trying to relax,' or anything else that lets the person avoid admitting a problem.
This often causes the partner to back off and the problematic behavior to continue." "This gives the impression that a problem is all yours, rather than one you're both working on together.Then you'll feel as if the past will always hang over the relationship and there's no moving forward.This may make you feel like you're constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop, leading to anxiety and resentment." "Your partner should never say is anything in a public setting that puts you down.Often times people like to build themselves up but they do it accidentally (or on purpose) at the expense of someone else." "If you have a concern of any kind, having your partner brush it off by saying 'It's no big deal' is definitely a big deal. Your feelings should always count." "This abusive strategy is meant to disarm you and keep you in fear for your life and the life of everyone you hold dear.You never know when this threat will become real, therefore you are in a state of heighten awareness, similar to PTSD.However, if you continue to hear that your partner doesn't care about you and they show you with their behaviors, such as forgetting about you, not taking you into consideration, or simply just not paying attention to you, you can look at this as a major sign that the relationship is near its end." "This kind of statement is damaging because it is such a direct assault on your intelligence.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating