Dating someone twenty years older

“He’s not ready for all of the pressures and responsibilities that go along with a committed relationship because his emotional maturity is not fully developed yet.” He’s either scared of love or loves you but feels like marriage means giving up his freedom, she adds—and that means you could be looking at girlfriend status for the long term.

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If a lot of your guy’s friends are like him—young and single—going out to bars until 4 a.m.

drinking, flirting with women, and behaving like a frat boy may be the norm.

According to the rule, for example, a 30-year-old should be with a partner who is at least 22, while a 50-year-old’s dating partner must be at least 32 to not attract (presumed) social sanction. Does it match our scientific understanding of age-related preferences for dating? Researchers Buunk and colleagues (2000) asked men and women to identify the ages they would consider when evaluating someone for relationships of different levels of involvement.

People reported distinct age preferences for marriage; a serious relationship; falling in love; casual sex; and sexual fantasies. Based on the figures Buunk and colleagues (2000) provided (and thus the numbers are only informed approximations), I replotted their data superimposing the max and min age ranges defined by the half-your-age-plus-7 rule.

Dating someone younger—whether you’re two or three years his senior or are talking cougar territory—certainly can work, but being an “older woman” in a relationship does tend to come with certain perks and downfalls.

If you want to make things work, be sure you can handle the following. Men reach their sexual prime in their twenties due to a spike in testosterone, while women typically reach theirs in their 30s and 40s.Amber Soletti, founder of On Speed and Singleandthe “Being older, you’re more successful and established, while he’s still climbing the corporate ladder or even getting a career going,” she says.Women in their mid-20s to early 30s are prime for baby-making, but “younger men don’t have the ‘dad” gene in them until they get to be more established and mature,” says New York City-based matchmaker Janis Spindel.So if you want kids, it could be several years until your youthful partner is ready to face the reality of raising one.So don’t be surprised if he chooses hanging with his bros over coming over to your place more often than you’d hope he would.

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