Dating as a widow

She is the author of The Lost Sheep: How I Got Over the Hump and visionary behind the book collaboration, Widowed, But Not Wounded: The Hustle & Flow of 13 Resilient Black Widowed Women (Dec 2017).

Additionally, Sabra has also contributed her writing to

I know several women who appreciate their discounts and benefits but the words, may trickle in his mind, when in fact, it shouldn’t so don’t give him a reason to think beyond what you can bring to the table…today. When he calls and asks what you are doing and you’re always sitting on the sofa watching television, he may think he’s dating an old lady. However, if he does the same thing, then more power to you both! Don’t ever feel that you have to settle.*Sabra has been widowed since 2012 after 23 years of marriage and is the founder of Black Women Widows Empowered, a safe, online and in-person group for women of color who can identify with the unique circumstances and challenges faced in a world of bias, pre-judgement, bigotry, and intolerance while being black and widowed.

She is a certified Christian grief counselor, former Grief Share facilitator, and Career-Growth Coach.

And you may even be encouraged enough to change your wardrobe to something a bit more younger, not slutty, but try adding new accessories or even wearing dresses instead of jeans, yoga pants or slacks when meeting for a date.

Try changing up your appearance and your makeup and try looking at life from a Millennial or Generation Xer’s point of view (not necessarily changing yours but be an ear to theirs).

If it doesn’t work, don’t be dismayed; it just wasn’t a match. He understood my cries, he understood my pain and he got me through very hard days. Maybe, maybe not, but I felt very comfortable around him. Before he died, he wanted me to remarry; he didn’t want me to live life alone without a partner. Besides, I have a future podcast with a widow who married a widower so I’m excited to hear her love story. You’re grown and you’re not getting any younger…find a dog sitter, tell your ‘still-living-at-home’ adult children to find another place to mooch off of for the evening. Instead of allowing yourself to settle, allow yourself to grow in learning new things.

We were the ‘cute couple’ to some, but I enjoyed my independence too much. I sure would …when I can come out of my selfish desires of enjoying company by myself, when I can finally admit to myself that I’m ready for a long-term relationship and more importantly, when I can stop giving excuses of running away because of the overall feelings of guilt of selecting someone other than my husband. I’ve dated many non-widowers but to be honest, I’ve never had so much fun with the only widower that was interested in me. Actually, I’ve been through it all and to be honest, the only one who made me truly smile, was-a-widower :-). Don’t settle for a man who doesn’t do anything for your mind or spirit. If he’s old enough to purchase wine, he’s an adult.

Sabra’s writing style is primarily tapped with a sense of world awareness.

A Baltimore native, she currently resides in Charlotte with her children.

He’s already familiar with the unwanted journey so if you cry for your husband, he can relate.

If you leave up his pictures, more than likely, he does too. Keep in mind that widowers are human too and although he may not be THAT guy, at least you gave it a chance. But heck, I was upset when I was dating non-widowers, like the one who used me like a rubber band to the point where he introduced me to his married client who I befriended, only to find out he was having an affair with her (and the list goes on).

You still need to know about red flags, have healthy communication and listening skills, know how to work with your triggers, and know how to be – and look for – a CATCH.* (In case you’re not familiar with our work, we’ll define what we mean by a “catch” at the bottom of this email.) But, there are also some things that are different.

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