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Matchmaking service the Dating Ring has even launched a crowdfunded campaign to send New York's single women to meet all of San Francisco's "eligible bachelors." At first, as women do, I internalized the problem ("the glasses are distracting"; "I'm going to the wrong places").

It didn't help my ego that in January, Marie Claire pinpointed our fair city as one of the top five "great places for single girls." After attempting almost comical displays of "approachability" that have to be seen to be believed (trust me), I acknowledged the sobering truth: The courtship culture in San Francisco is not normal.

Despite loads of single men, getting a date is a no-man's land. "I'd forgotten what it was like to be flirted with," says Kink and Code blogger Emma Mc Gowan, 27, who noticed it during a recent visit to New York.

"I can't get over how reflexively men flirt in New York." Forget flirting; it sometimes seems as if guys don't see gals, period. It's easy to blame smartphones for replacing the normalcy of spontaneous face-to-face interaction.

"I can't sit at a bar in Chicago or New York without a guy striking up a conversation with me, whereas in San Francisco, guys don't even look up from their laptops when I walk into a cafe," says Beth Cook, 34, a local business and life coach. "A lot of people are quick to blame tech, but that's oversimplification," counters Mc Gowan.

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