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Of course, one of the biggest obstacles toward casual dating is the inevitable “ending.” So many of us equate kindness with never saying anything hard to anyone. Kindness is honoring someone in your treatment of them, but kindness is also honoring them by ending a dating relationship if needed. But the purpose of dating isn’t to just accumulate boyfriends or girlfriends—it’s to find a best friend and partner for life.If you’ve maintained boundaries and treated your date with respect, you’ve protected him or her from false and premature intimacy. And when you find him or her, chances are, none of those other guys or gals you’ve casually dated will matter much in the light of your spouse. You can’t have the attention of multiple dates and still be pursuing a God-honoring relationship with one.What if dating is about getting to know someone and gauging interest, not lifelong compatibility?

A wise man once told me that there were only two outcomes for dating relationships: getting married or breaking up.

“The secret,” he said, “is knowing how to handle a dating relationship so you know if the other person is worth marrying or he or she is honored in the breakup.” Unfortunately, it seems like many young singles struggle to figure out just how to handle dating–and I’m not the only one who’s noticed how weird the Christian dating scene can be.

Everyone is different when you get them one-on-one.

“Do you think Christian girls make dating too serious? “I need a buffer of at least five dates before I’m thinking of any future at all! What if you completely jettison the idea of finding your husband or wife via dating, at least for the first five dates?

Here are a few myths we’d have to ditch in order to get there.

Stop evaluating whether the guy who’s taken an interest in you is strong and tenderhearted enough to raise your future kids.“My daughter was interested in this nice Christian boy, but he strung her along for a year and a half.The next one did too.” Or, “Jeremy acted like they were friends but she told me later that they were hooking up on the side.” With that kind of dismal dating culture at play, let’s consider the options: First, there’s “courting.” It’s the modern-day form of arranged marriages.I don’t have first-hand knowledge, but thanks to reality TV, I believe it appears to involve asking the woman’s dad if she is available to date, and possibly not kissing until the actual wedding.Outside the courting circles, there is the less overt but just as prevalent “ideal spouse” dating.Dating helps two people sort out what it would be like to be together, to be in a friendship.

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