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(I am using pseudonyms to protect the privacy of my clients and their families.)The damage that infidelity causes the aggrieved partner is one side of the story.

For centuries, when affairs were tacitly condoned for men, this pain was overlooked, since it was mostly experienced by women.

By the time we tie the knot, we’ve hooked up, dated, cohabited, and broken up.

We want our chosen one to offer stability, safety, predictability, and dependability.

And we want that very same person to supply awe, mystery, adventure, and risk.

They reveal our personal and cultural attitudes about love, lust, and commitment—attitudes that have changed dramatically over the past 100 they used to be because marriage is not what it used to be.

For much of history, and in many parts of the world today, marriage was a pragmatic alliance that ensured economic stability and social cohesion.

We expect comfort and edge, familiarity and novelty, continuity and surprise.

We have conjured up a new Olympus, where love will remain unconditional, intimacy enthralling, and sex oh so exciting, with one person, for the long haul. We also live in an age of entitlement; personal fulfillment, we believe, is our due.

Contemporary culture, to its credit, is more compassionate toward the jilted.

But if we are to shed new light on one of our oldest behaviors, we need to examine it from all sides.

A child of immigrants, Priya surely has relatives whose marital options were limited at best.

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